Please note that this piece of writing is based on personal experiences. Also, note that the picture chosen for this post is a perfect capture of the eternal happiness that lives inside me. I find happiness in everything, but this moment with my husband was unrealistically magical.
I feel like most of the times happiness is confused with pleasure. I believe this because I have myself to prove. Sometimes I find myself caught in a repeated cycle where I make myself think that until I achieve or get something, I will then be happy.
This toxic event has been something I have been battling with since I was of a young age. The “Once I get the new toy, the new CD, or once I make money, or buy my first house, or build my career, or lose weight” sentence is what you are looking for when differentiating your happiness over your pleasure. The trouble of confusing these two is that you automatically make yourself believe that only when those pleasures are met will you achieve full satisfaction. By doing this, we are associating our happiness as some faraway dream. Or in other words, we are allowing our happiness to cling on circumstances of our life.
Circumstances like the ones I listed above:
when I lose weight
when I buy the cute pair of shoes
when I get good grades
when I find myself a partner
When you let happiness rely on something you want you are actually tricking your mind to believe that this is the key to holding our joy. And in the meantime, while you are working towards the achievement of that circumstance unpleasant feelings arise. Depression, boredom, frustration, and disappointment.
Can you see how it can become a toxic loop? The problem is when you attain the attachment that was once your dream goal, you automatically break the link between happiness. Once this happens, you go back to square one and try to find the next thing or occurrence (I call it a substitute) to hinge on.
Happiness depends on us alone. Happiness is a skill that is slowly constructed and fortified day after day. It requires effort, commitment and time. Happiness is not something that will come automatically once we have achieved a particular goal.
Real happiness is not linked to an activity or need, it depends on us alone.
Happiness is a state of being. Once you start practising happiness every day, you will then be rewarded with a life of abundant harmony between our inner nature. So please do me a favour and practice happiness as much as you can. Just like you exercise your swimming, drawing, singing, or Spanish, practice being happy. Happiness is a necessary skill that must be learnt and just like any other skill or art, exercising happiness requires a lot of commitment. This is the only way we will let ourselves flourish naturally.
I am with you on this journey. Sometimes it can be hard, we live in a world where we easily get distracted from what truly matters. But I trust we can do it. Pass this message along to anyone you know who is trying to find happiness, and be a reminder that joy lives inside us. We just need to learn to tap into it. Our vessels were designed to do so, let the ego go and see yourself truthfully.
lots of love,